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St.
John's Episcopal Church
Montgomery Alabama
June 30, 2002
Sixth Sunday After Pentecost
Where Is Your Heart: With God or with Your Family?
The
Rev. Robert C. Wisnewski, Jr.
Rector
Gospel:
Matthew 10:34-42
Our gospel
lesson for today is the final part of Jesus’ commissioning and instruction
of the twelve apostles. He has chosen them, each of them for a purpose,
and he has spent some time telling them what they are to do and what they
may expect in
following him. In what comes before this passage, the lessons we have
read here the past few weeks, Jesus has given the apostles authority over
unclean spirits; he has given them gifts of healing; he has told them
not to take too much with them but to live each day trusting that God
will provide what is needed; he has told them to do their very best but
not to worry too much about results; and he has told them not to try to
defeat the wolves in the world but to be sheep in the midst of the wolves
and trust God to protect them. Today he warns them about following in
order to get a certain reward. Don’t follow me thinking that you
then deserve some easier kind of life. Give up your definitions of ease
and comfort and simply obey. Take each day as it comes and avoid judging
the day too soon. The Lord will care for you but the way will be hard.
It will not always be peaceful.
If the first line of this gospel lesson is confusing to you, certainly
you will not be alone. Probably it was confusing to the apostles as well.
“I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.” I would
be among the first to say that, in fact, the more
faithful and obedient one becomes, the more peace he will find in his
life. Jesus is referred to as the Prince of Peace and the only true peace
we can find on this earth is through the Son of God. Nevertheless, Jesus
says that the apostles must not follow simply to find peace. If finding
peace and contentment is the primary motivation, then such takes the place
of God in our lives. he apostles, and we, are to follow Jesus with worshiping
God as our primary focus in life. And the irony is that then we will find
peace. But if we follow with just the selfish desire for peace, peace
will elude us.
“He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life
for my sake will find it.” That is Jesus’ elaboration on
this subject. If you let go of life and peace and focus on following the
Lord, then you will find life and peace. Jesus desires from us
faithful following rather than using him to get what we think we want.
Much of our problem in life comes out of our selfish pursuit of what we
think will make us happy. Let go of that, Jesus says, and worship: be
faithful; follow; obey; allow God to
give you what you need and receive it as a gift. When our wants are our
focus and God is simply the means to accomplish that focus, there can
be no sense of gift or gratitude, because what we have really done is
acquired our wants. How dare you
worship me in order to get what you want! Worship me and let go of your
wants. I will give you more than you can imagine.
Of all the
places Jesus could apply this teaching, he chooses first to apply it to
families. That central unit of human community, that in which God so obviously
intended for his people to live and grow, that is where Jesus says following
him may
well be the hardest. That’s where you are going to struggle, that’s
where it may be the worst, that’s where spiritual growth may be tested
the most.
If you ever think you’ve got life licked, go to a family reunion!
Along with all the joys you may experience, you will also find yourself
angry, embarrassed, frustrated, judgmental, self-conscious, critical,
criticized, baffled, utterly amazed that you and
all these people share the same genes. If they were strangers on the street,
things would be different but they are family and somehow that makes it
more complicated. Families are the kilns in which our spiritual growth
issues are fired. It’s natural and good that we are there for that
is our place. But the heat of refinement is high.
There are two primary truths of humanity: we are born from God; and we
are born into families. And much of life has to do with reconciling those
two truths. God blesses our families and calls for loyalty to the family;
yet God calls for our ultimate
loyalty to be to him. Families are where we often experience holiness
first, where we seem always to expect things to be on a higher plane;
yet they are where we find the basest of activity. We are invited by God
to grow spiritually, ever closer to him. And we are to live in families.
It’s hard to do both of those things but that’s the way God
has set up the world, and surely there is purpose in his will.
If you would like an exercise in frustration, try this: go home and try
to arrange a peaceful family event. There simply are too many factors
beyond your control. Each person has been affected by more events and
emotions than you can keep up
with. Interruptions occur, air conditioners die, storms knock out televisions
and water heaters, cars break down, traffic backs up, flowers wilt, wines
sour, hurricanes build off the coast and inside teenagers. You can’t
orchestrate peace but one of the greatest problems in families is that
we think we should be able to orchestrate peace. It is the elusive god
of most every family, what we silently name as the one thing we would
most like to have. We elevate it, pursue it, yearn for it, and are so
devastated when we don’t get it. Families are one of the main places
where God is most abused. Peace in the family is usually our real
desire; our prayers to God are more like tokens in the slot hoping peace
will fall into our hands. No wonder Jesus starts with families as an example
of the great challenge he issues to his followers. You must worship
me even above your family and all that you want in your family. Your family
may well be the idol you must daily put aside.
Taken out of context, this statement would be ridiculous but our families
are too important to us and we are too close to each other inside our
families. We let our families interfere with our relationship with God
which must be primary. For God to be the center of a family means much
more than all members following the rules God gives us. Here again, keeping
the rules can easily turn into putting tokens into a slot with the expectation
of a payoff rolling down the chute. For God to be the center of my family,
he must be the center of my life. I must worship him above my selfish
desires for the members of my family. I can have my wants and I can express
them to God; indeed I should, but I must then release all attachment to
outcome. I may want something for my family above any material possession,
but until I place that want into God’s hands, I am not putting God
as
the center of my life.
I am convinced we are put into families in order to learn how to want
yet let go. It is in our families that we want the most and so easily
our wants for our families push God out. I must struggle daily with all
my wants in my family and God invites me to give those wants to him, not
as a token in a slot but as my gift on his altar. I must become willing
to live without my wants being accomplished. I must become grateful for
God’s presence without equating that with my wants being met.
That’s a hard message but I think it’s the gospel of Christ.
If it helps, I’ll remind you that what you want for yourself does
not compare with what God will give you. Jesus on the cross, I imagine,
wanted not to suffer; he was given the resurrection. His wants had to
be set aside in trust for the gift of his father to be received. What
do you want most this day? Name it and put it on the altar. Be willing
for that never to be met. And open your arms to receive God’s greater
blessing.
Gospel:
Matthew 10:34-42
"Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have
not come to bring peace, but a sword.
For I have come to set a man against
his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against
her mother-in-law; and one's foes will be members of one's own household.
Whoever loves
father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; amd whoever loves son
or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever does not take
up the cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Those who find their life
will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.
(NRSV)
"Whoever
welcomes you welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes
the one who sent me. Whoever welcomes a prophet in the name of a prophet
will receive a prophet's reward; and whoever welcomes a righteous person
in the name of a righteous person will receive the reward of the righteous;
and whoever gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones
in the name of a disciple--truly I tell you, none of these will lose their
reward."
Copyright 2002 The Rev. Robert C. Wisnewski, Jr.
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